You want to feel like a refugee from a Charles Dickens story? Get yourself a top hat!
You want to snootily look down on other from the majestic perch of your new top hat? Guess you better get that top hat!
Want to look like an escapee from an overwrought Christmas village? Definitely go the top hat route.
Just get yourself a goddamn top hat already! The link here takes you to The Village Hat Shop of San Diego, and you can get a nice Victorian top hat there for around $67! And then you can dress it up with ribbon and holly and mistletoe and look like one of the Solid Gold Dancers from Scrooged!